She could feel the sticky lump in her throat that seemed as if it was going to close off her windpipe like the first time he said it. She wasn’t sure if that meant dread or some other kind of emotion but she felt the need to cry and laugh at the same time-though knowing her she would do the latter. Still her mind raced along with her heart as she hopped down from the countertop and looked at him with a steady gaze. “I hate when you assume shit, yanno? If I wanted you to leave I would have told you to, you know I would have.” The tone was a little rough around the edges but she softened it after a few moments with a soft sigh. “Shit, we’re terrible at this, aren’t we? Well..I’m terrible at this..I..” she frowned momentarily and scratched her head with a soft chuckle.
The issue had been skirted a bit, but for the most part things seemed resolved. Nothing was ever perfect with him and Mac and maybe that’s what he loved most about their friendship.He responded to her statements with a small shrug of his shoulders,eyes downcast before moving upward to meet her own. “And if I really wanted out, I’d just leave.” He ran a hand through his hair, gaze sent to stare at some harmless piece of furniture because that was easier to look at when things got heavy like this and Elliot was afraid when he spoke the truth, his face would reveal more than he wanted. “Terrible at what, Mac? You’re not a shit friend so what do you think you’re terrible at? Communication?” He sort of laughed. The real question had been framed by joke because while Elliot wasn’t expecting anything, right away or at all, he was curious as to her opinion on that matter. After all this time, he still hadn’t heard one straight answer in regards to that.
There it was, the final truth that made the air around her dissipate as if she were placed into a vacuum. Ever since he had told her the truth back on Valentine’s Day, it seemed as if they were avoiding each other as best as they could without making a huge deal of it. The reality of it all was that she still couldn’t believe it never the less understand it. Her feelings were jumbled like a puzzle piece that was missing the key components. She could feel her heart race for a few moments before she let out a breath of defeat and leaned against the the counter before sitting on top. Mac looked down at her lap and then rubbed her temples before looking at him, “I don’t know what you want me to say..but I know you’ve been avoiding me. Is that why? Because of what happened? What can we do to fix it?..I just..I don’t know. I don’t want you to disappear on me again..”
It sort of bothered him that this was another thing that Mac probably wanted to ignore into non-existence, but what did he really expect? After the whole debacle, he had suddenly started avoiding her. In a less disappearing way and more in a ‘I’m just not around as much’ way. Sure, Elliot had confessed his love for Mac, but he didn’t assume she;d just jump on the bus with and would rather they simply stay friends if that’s how it was supposed to be. But things always seemed to get complicated with them somehow. He sucked his bottom lip in and chewed on it before answering her. Of course Mac would call him out on the avoidance business. “Yeah, I was kind of making myself scarce. I figured it was a lot to process and didn’t want to freak you out. Look, Mac, I don’t expect anything from you regarding what I said and I don’t intend on disappearing any time soon. Just didn’t want you thinking I was hoping something was going to happen, you know?”
She couldn’t help but choke on a laugh as he spoke about his overcoming said issues. It was basically the biggest bullshit she had ever heard but she thought she’d indulge him. “Oh yeah, Elliot Nash, the truth seeker. Teach me your ways for I have no knowledge of doing so myself. Truly an inspiration to people like me everywhere.” Although the statement was dripping with sarcasm, she tried to keep herself composed but did a shit job of doing it. “What is this all really about? I know you well enough to know when you are spitting underlying tones of bullshit.”
Elliot wasn’t surprised she’d called bullshit on him. They knew each other well enough that, of course, Mac would recognize when he was spewing whatever nonsense he could to get the desired effect. Yeah, maybe Elliot didn’t try to change topics out of existence like Mac, but he certainly didn’t really face his problems. Just sort of sat on them, thinking eventually they’d go away on their own. He didn’t bother responding to her first statement, but rubbed at his forehead. “I feel like we’re going in circles. I just wanted to know why you seemed so irritated with me earlier and you said it was an irrelevant question.” He hazards a glance at Mac, expression going from scrunched up irritation to exhausted defeat. “I just feel like shit’s all awkward between us ever since I said what I said back in February.” There he’d admitted it. Albeit, in a muttered breath, but he admitted it all the same.
“Don’t you start,” she looked back at him, folding her arms across her chest after she stuffed the money into her pocket. “You know that wasn’t what I meant. And you call me goth? You’re being a bitchy little emo kid today. What the hell is wrong with you? Since I always seem to be the problem, maybe it’s you who has the issue.” She couldn’t help but get angry with him. She wasn’t sure how or why but little things that he said just ticked her off to the point of exhaustion. She hated fighting with him, but it seemed to be the only way they knew how to express their feelings.
He growled under his breath and swung around from his position against the counter-top to face Mac head-on. The sudden closeness sent a recognizable wave of something throughout him, but the male decidedly pushed it down. Now was not the time. “Oh screw you, Mac. You’re always trying to get out of things by pretending they don’t exist. If you don’t acknowledge it then maybe it’ll go away. Maybe I have got issues, but at least I’ll face them.” He didn’t know exactly why he’d said it, but now that it was out in the open there really was no way of taking it back.
She made a big deal of putting the bills back into his palm, “I can find some cash myself. Like I said, I have some in the cabinets,” she mumbled and brushed past him. The slightest contact from her shoulder brushing his sent an electric wave throughout her entire body that she tried her best to ignore before opening up a series of cabinets. Finding more than she hoped, she smirked and ran a hand through her hair, showing it to him with a look of pride on her face as if saying I told you so. “I’m not shutting you out,” she said while walking away from him, “- I just choose to ignore irrelevant questions.”
He frowned at the money that had been placed back into his hand, but closed his fingers into a fist around it so the paper bills crumpled before he stuffed them back into his pockets. “Suit yourself.” He gave a shrug and stepped away, leaning against a counter and eyeing her as she searched through the cabinets for the money. He felt so frustrated by her, but didn’t know how to express himself or explain anything. Nevertheless, he sent up a glare at Mac, feeling especially childish as he said, “I’ll just quit burdening you with my irrelevant questions and statements then.”
A little startled by the refrigerator door closing, she could feel the space between them close the smallest bit in which she felt uncomfortable. Stepping backwards just the slightest so she was against the fridge completely, she looked up at him, “I don’t look like my dog has been kicked, Elliot. I’m pissed that we don’t have real food in our fridge. Now move, I gotta look for loose change.”
He frowned a little at her obvious refusal to actually answer him ans a short sigh huffed out of his mouth. “Yeah whatever Mac. Just shut me out ‘cause you’re pissed about our lack of food situation.” He dug around in his pockets for a moment before producing a few bills and handing them to her. “This should be enough.”
Passive aggressive shit? You’ve gotta be shitting me. Forget I said anything. -she rolls her eyes and walks over to the fridge, mumbling under her breath- Gross, everything is spoiled. When the hell was the last time we got stuff for this place.
-he’s still for a second and then follows her to the fridge, shutting it gently with his hand; Nuh uh. You don’t get to say all this stuff looking like I kicked your fucking dog and then sweep it under the rug. Should know better than to pull that on me, Mac. Look, I don’t know what I did wrong, but obviously I annoyed you somehow.
Look, do whatever the hell you want alright? You know I don’t care what you do. I mean it’s not like I’m going anywhere anytime soon, so I’m here and have been. But at least I’m easy to find.
Ummm okay… I’m not difficult to find Mac and you know if you really wanted to see me, you wouldn’t have to put in a huge effort looking. What’s this passive-aggressive shit about?
Yeah yeah, I get the theatrics El. -she rolls her eyes, though peeks out of the corner of her eye when he pointedly shows his chest to her- And you think I want to be reminded? I swear to God those two got somethin’ going on in between the sheets if you get what I mean. -she grins and then shakes her head- Around huh? Yeah, I see that.
Just wanna make sure you quit calling my a Cullen. -narrows his eyes jokingly; Geez I’m sure they do. Its not like they are all PDA, but because I know somethings up its weird being around them when they’re together. -he shrugs and looks down; Its not like I was avoiding you or something.